So I decided to start writing letters, to anyone...

Sometimes Susan, Roselin, or Erie writes but most of the time, it's Fida. mail

Friday, 22 May 2009

a lifetime experience

When I was in year 8, I learnt that we shouldn't hope too much for anything we ever hoped. Because when things didn't run as smooth as what we expected or didn't happen as what we expected, great disappointment comes over us. And I really hate for having that feeling. 5 years after that, I still hope too much, I have high expectation. When I found out that it didn't happen as what I expected, I'm hurt. I don't know how to describe this feeling. Maybe some of you know how it feels, and do you know how suck for having that feeling is? The disappointment, the sadness, the anger, they're all mingle into one. It feels like, you've flown to the 7th sky and then suddenly this strong gravity pulls you down really hard that you crashed to the ground. I really wanna blame someone but who? It's my fault for expecting something really high when I know I can't predict the future. But what's so wrong about hoping?

I am sad. But I didn't cry my eyes out, cause I can't. I don't know why. I don't know how to express the feeling. I'm just sad. I'm disappointed. And it' s my fault. I need some strength to get me through the day. I become sadder when I see everybody around me is sad too. Hmph.

Above it all, I still believe: everything happens for a reason. I believe, He, who has that supreme power has planned something for us. Something better. He is the invisble hand. He's the one that leads our heart, He leads us to the path He has chosen for us. He's the source of my strength. Maybe it's the best for me. I learnt something out of it. I'm not gonna hope too high for everything I do. I just wanna do it best. I just wanna let it flow, and right now I have to let it go.

Today, I learnt something.

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