So I decided to start writing letters, to anyone...

Sometimes Susan, Roselin, or Erie writes but most of the time, it's Fida. mail

Sunday, 6 February 2011

Day 12- On wanting what you want

I guess I’m not really punctual on this writing challenge. The reason why I’ve been away and not posting is that I’ve been busy and I’ve been sick. Cliche, I know.

Anyway, over this holiday, my cousin always said to me that I don’t have my own purpose in life, yet. And I’ve tried to fight him by saying, I do have a purpose, but I don’t mention him what. And it got me thinking, do I really have a purpose in life? And I’ve been making questions and answers to myself.

“Do I have a purpose in life?”
“Yes, I do have”
“Then what is it?”
“I wanna be happy. I want me and everybody near me to be happy”
“Do you know how to make you happy?”
“By getting what I want”
“Well, do you know what you want?”

Then, I stopped there. I think this is what my cousin trying to ask me, “Do I know what I want?” A wise man once said, happiness is wanting what you want. In order to get my happiness I’ve got to want something, and it’s not just ‘things’ but more than that. Maybe I can begin with what I wanna do after college. Well, taking management as your field study make you faced with a lot of options, I mean in job that you’re gonna do. If you’re taking social studies you are faced with more options that you can choose. We’re not like those medical students who 95% will be doctors/ dentist after they finished their studies. Taking management doesn’t make you a manager after you finish your study. As I said, we are faced with more options.

So what I want? the two only things I will do as soon as I finish college is to apply for a scholarship and a job. What kinda job? I’m not quite sure yet, I’m gonna try to apply n some departments and companies but my priority is scholarship. I don’t have a clear picture on what job I’m going to do but I know what course I’m gonna take for my master degree; either finance or international economics.

See? It’s very blur, I need to focus in what I want, really. Maybe I can work this out before I turn 20. Amen.

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