Running through 2011

I don't quite remember what my 2011 resolutions were but I remember telling them to Endah through Yahoo Messenger on new year eve. I only remember that two of them were to gain money and expand my network. And hey, it happened this year. Maybe I should thank local government for bringing SEA Games to Palembang that they gave me job? maybe. But because of them, I met hundred people across the globe; from the very east of Asia to our closest neighbor. I worked with different people from 3 different countries in less than 6 months; I worked with the chatty Iranian, friendly Singaporean and funny Burmese. I've made new friends, gotten to know many people, and have seen how complicated our country is. But they are all made a story worth telling.

I've gambled about my feelings, have told the truth, taken chances, ruined my GPA, gotten high, felt disappointed. I've tasted it all. And I'd like to regret things I've done but I remember it was things that I wanted to do at one point of my life. But it was all worth it. Above it all, the year is ended with my research proposal got accepted (though with revision), yay!

Desi Anwar once tweeted, "Don't forget about your future. Just tidy your room, get your work done, do some exercise, take up a hobby. You'll do fine." And I think that's how I'm gonna live my 2012.

I hope this is not too late for a new year post.

From working with Iranian volleyball team to research proposal. The hellos and goodbyes.
Time does fly fast, 2011 has been a great year.

Hello there bus ride!

I got on to the bus this morning feeling proud. I should be proud, I tell myself. This is the first time in a week where I came early and actually on time that I can get a bus. I usually came late that the last bus had already left and I have to wait till 8.00 to be able to jump into the lecturers’ bus or get a ride from someone I know. It should be a good day, I tell myself. The bus’ engine is starting and it’s beginning to leave Palembang.

The bus is pretty small; consist of 30ish people exclude the driver and the bus conductor and I’m seated on the right, next to the window. The back seats of the bus belong to a group of guys who are my junior and their making the loudest noise in the bus, but somehow, I enjoy their laughter. Next to me is also a junior of mine and he is trying to sleep. Fortunately I wasn’t alone, behind me, seated my close friend with her crush and she’s having the best time of her life, chatting and flirting while in front of me are the two girls who already fell asleep as soon as the bus conductor taken their money.

This morning, instead of sleeping, I try to lay my eyes on the scenery around me. I can’t remember when was the last time I enjoy the scenery on my way to campus. Guess, it’s been long. So I let my thoughts wander around, to think of everything.



I look out the window and my eyes are fixed on this bird that’s flying low next to the bus and for couple of seconds I make myself believe that the bird is actually trying to have a race with us, but the bird changed its direction, letting us to win. And my thoughts are still wandering around; at one moment, I’m thinking about how much changes I’ve made since the beginning of 2011, another moment, I’m thinking about how complicated and corrupted this country is and as much as I want to hate this country, I will never could cause you’ll never hate something you’re a part of.

Few minutes before arriving, a truck, loaded with coconut palm oil is trying to take over our bus in full speed, but the driver didn’t see that there’s another truck coming from the opposite direction. The coconut palm oil truck’s driver have to move to the left in where our bus is and we were so close, for split of seconds I believe we’re crashing but we didn’t. My thoughts are still wandering around and this time, I’m thinking about what that truck’s driver thinking. My theory is that the driver is probably drunk or perhaps, his wife is in labor that he is in a hurry, endangering our lives.

And my thoughts wandered again on something I try to not to think about, so I look out of the window and see the two elephants in agro-tourism, eating the grass. Those two elephants are getting skinnier, I swear and they should put them back to their habitat.

Finally, we’re arriving, we’re passing the gate and the first stop will be auditorium and followed by medical faculty. Economics faculty is placed at the back, so we probably are one of the last persons who will get out last. In the faculty of engineering, 2 guys step out of the bus. And I imagine myself accepted in electrical engineering (which is my third choice in national entrance test) and have to be surrounded by mostly the opposite sex: heaven. We pass faculty of mathematics and natural science, faculty of agriculture, faculty of computer science and finally arrive at faculty of economics.



As we’re arriving, my thoughts fixed on about getting myself a good breakfast first then get to the class cause I was starving. My eyes are all over the places, trying to identify and spot people I know and as I step out of the bus, I saw you. You, something I try not to think about, something that’s very distracting, and something I fail on forgetting about. I stepped out, went on the food stall, said ‘Hi’, got my breakfast and then leave.

But, it was a good ride and today is a good day.

Thursday, 26th May 2011, Palembang- Indralaya.

It was like fire around the brim

Today’s topic is mostly about reflecting on 3 or 4 years ago, about how your high school life was. And it seems like everybody has the time of their lives when mine was monotonous compared to them. I was a fine student; I keep my mouth good and barely break a rule for the sake that I won’t be in trouble with teachers I loathe. To obey the rules, have to be on time at 7 in the morning, flag ceremony every Mondays and all those aerobics movement every Fridays, man, wasn’t it overrated? It was.

I had my fun times at high school but compare to college life, it was nothing. I don’t think I was being myself. I mean, high school is all about image. It was like a parade; what you wear, what you drive in, people you hang around with, it were all the topics to talk. And then, there are groups. It didn’t really show, but it’s there; that we were divided into groups, like it or not.




But being in college is something that’s really different. There’re groups, but it is for the sake of surviving. There’re rules but they are flexible. We take full responsibilities of ourselves. We are free yet we have boundaries.

Day 11- My idea of perfect afternoon

A glass of hot 'instant' cappuccino, slices of brownies, and a good book. I had my perfect afternoon today.

Day 10- how the holidays have been

I've been doodling and learning how to paint. Well, not really, I kinda learn how to color my doodles with oil paint. And it's been heaps of fun. The other thing is, I've been doodling on a t-shirt. That one is Endah's, she wants something that support 'go green' so I doodle something like that. It's pretty hard to find someone who sells a cheap white t-shirt.

Time machine

There's a moment where you want to leave but people force you to stay.



I know, they want what's best for me, but I learn my mistake. I couldn't make everybody happy with my decision. I'm still scared to see their disappointing faces when the time is come.

'Leave' for me is the easiest thing to do, yes, I might sound like a coward but it is the best solution. 'Leave' to me, is finishing all my responsibilities that I don't have the connection with that party anymore, start all over again; if we were a microsoft word, I'm thinking about creating 'a new blank page'.

My problem is comfort. I put comfort first in everything I do/wear. When I don't feel comfortable with people/things around me, I leave. My adaption did not success, I've been through a process and I try to adapt but I still don't feel comfortable. Now, is it my fault if I want to leave?

This is why I want to have that Harry Potter cloth, I can just hide when I'm in doubt and watch the world goes by. Oh yes, I'm a coward.

Little black clouds over

I always love Cassey's actions especially her B&W actions so I decided to use it on my pictures.
I'm the type of people that build bricks around them and easily traumatized, but couple of months ago, I try to put down the bricks one by one in my precautions state and trying hard to open up. There are flashes in my mind and I try not to think about the worst that can I happen since it's just going to push me to arrange the bricks back again. But then, we can not push the bad away as it's already written on us. I've been in doubt, but I try to be positive and I was wrong (perhaps).

I thought what we've-- I've-- been doing will end up in something, something I expected and though I'm still hoping, I don't really believe in it. I can't conclude it now, but I can see where they cycle goes; it's the same cycle, in where I'm the one that's gonna get tired and fatigue.

It's not the end yet, I still can change it and with little believe that left in me, I'm going to twist the cycle; gonna stop for a while.

Oh hey, it's 2011!

Last time I post was errm, a year ago krik oh well it's already 2011, so I can count it as a year. I'm not gonna do the run down on what happened in 2010 because in one hand, I have a very short term memory, and in another, nobody cares anyway. But 2010 was very eventful and awesome. I had a resolution, well me and Endah made this 2011 resolution few hours before 2011 through yahoo messenger, haha. There's no need to put it up in here, it was just a reminder on what needs to be achieved, besides, we probably have forgotten about our own resolutions.



Anyway, I've started my 2011 with a busy start; a training and final exams. It's been bumpy but I managed to get through the first week, I can say it's a good start. And to start 2011, I managed to change the look of this blog. I know the title is kinda long; write me notes and post me pictures, but that's what I've been doing in this blog; writing notes and posting pictures. Well, here we go 2011.

Susan

Then I write, I just write, I keep on writing, and the letters never reach you.

Too early for a saturday night

I wasn't in when they decided to go for bowling. They kidnapped me by saying we'll go somewhere but still ended bowling. It was fun, though I'm suck at bowling.

Dream and Pray. You'll end up in something good.

Beauty

Physical appearance is important. You can't deny it. You judge a person by their looks even only for split seconds. And it's always the pretties that get the spot. It becomes a cycle. People can say what really matters is what in the inside but as much as you try to convince people with that principle, you're outnumbered with those who believe physical appearance is something.

And this is where I hate all the beauty pageants, they set up a standard on our physical appearances; which one is pretty and which one is ugly. Brainwash. And the standard becomes the mindset; that the tall and skinny body define what beauty really is. A lot of people especially girls are being tamed in this mindset that they try too hard to be in the category. Which is pathetic.

Dress nice and be comfortable with it and you already look beautiful.

Taken by Madi

What you do, the way you think, makes you beautiful- David (Uglies, Scott Westerfeld)

Hello December

So here we are in December, and the feeling that I-don't-want-this-year-ends comes again. I don't know how that happens but I get it every year. Fine, I'm being a denial, to tell you the truth I don't want this year to end because I don't wanna be 20. To me, December is the first reminder that I'm gonna be a year older in about 2 months. Cliche, I know.

//

So, if you were on twitter and you're Indonesian, you must know that people are tweeting about Indonesia vs Malaysia soccer match tonight. And somehow, I'm not interested in it. Where's your nationality? Trust me, I've been asking the same question. I can watch world cup or premier league for hours but I can't stand watching my own country soccer match. Maybe I got the idea that every time there's a match, it always ended up chaotic, pfft. Pardon me who has no interest in such thing.

The little faces

I'm still figuring out what's on their minds as I post this picture. They were told to pray for their grandfather who's already in heaven. And they did.

A message

Hold on, it's gonna get better. This is life, it goes up and down.

Assignment part 2: Selling

All photos courtesy to Gusri

We doubled our product since we're selling on Sunday and there'll be more customers. And we were right, it was crowded and our products are sold out. Satu pelajaran buat kita bersembilan: cari duit itu susah! mulai dari lapak di usir sampe nyari pembeli, susah banget. Baru kerasa uang 200 ribu itu berharga banget kalo didapet sendiri. Be grateful people, even though it's hard.

Assignment part 1

Untuk matakuliah Kewirausahaan kita disuruh buat usaha dengan modal di bawah 300 ribu, kelompok saya jualan kroket/ risol dengan nama jeng jeng KROKET MAMA LULU (gubrak!) long story for that one. Here are some of the pictures of yesterday cooking.

From the messy omelet to cam whoring, yesterday was fun. I mean, what's a gathering without cam whoring right? We did all the styles, especially the famous sinta- jojo!

And the good news is our products are sold in an hour and we're selling it tomorrow too! Wish us luck!